Hi to the people watching me write this! WWIII in Joyner Lucas’ song “Revenge”!

This girl and that girl

(or Jessica and Carina)

Feed me your words, she says-

one of my two beautiful ‘’girlfriends ‘’ we agreed on it as a trio a group a party-of-three for 3 weeks yes three weeks straight of being in a clean quiet hospital together , it was a peaceful and relaxed with a real love-fest between the three of us, 24/7,  in May of 2015- two beautiful girls were my females a few years younger 19 and 20 who were both very attractive like seemingly normal and who said they would both be so-close with me because they thought I was nice and handsome worthy of their trust, with some experience to life and love, in such a place like in a situation where we all needed as much support as possible to get through our Situation `  ` ` they were charming to me in a very good way and they were so pretty we made love visually and vocally, aurally for a streak of probably 23 days- intimate opening up hearing them sing me songs like gentle Rhianna hits I’d remember from KISS and JAMN  these two girls would sing notes for me when I asked them to, the harmonic wavelengths originating inside the brains of my real-life girlfriends sorta-intimately face-to-face constant-communication over the littlest things 100% of the time while we were there- and I loved it with the two of them, plus I love them both individually and as two lovers both for me

I remember, pay attention- there I was saved with these girls who we like ‘’’us’’’, like ‘’’we’’’ we were in a 3-way marriage and we all went to the same college we’d all known of, talking openly, and we said UMass in Am-herst but we weren’t hurt there would be no hurt, so I would go to UMass ` ` `  not Northeastern or QCC and I’d major in English onto this ::: WE’D DO OUR OWN THERAPIES as friends in there in the mental-hospital that I never should have gone to ` ` ` We were on heavy meds and we’d do what I called Riffing like off the riffing ‘’’Jiving’’’ off the cuff and stuff when it rhymes I coined it there ` ` ` but we all decided to all be unofficially-married / life-partners who were trying to help each other while we were in there- because we all thought it would improve our stay and make us happier ` ` `

We said “Fuck Social-Anxiety and feeling nervous”

Carina said-  

Everything was clean it was all so clean

I’m friends with Carina online but I haven’t talked to her to see how she’s doing like is she happy ???

She wanted to drive ‘’’a bus’’’ that was cool and she would pick up friends then promising me she won’t drive drunk ` ` ` the girls each drove Japanese and Korean cars that worked okay- they were safe- they were reliable, and they had never crashed ` ` `

That was not the reason why they were there, or here- when I was there

The girls didn’t have panic attacks or any set-‘’’beliefs’’’ that were weird-

They weren’t suicidal or anything

I don’t want any panic-attacks

I want to have sex with girls

We were together and we loved our trio in the hospital with a good view of Lake Quinsigamond near Vinny T’s we all wanted food from Vinny T’s like Chicken Parm, Carina wanted but she said she didn’t want to gain anymore weight even though she had huge joints compared to where her muscle was all shrunk and her arms were so skinny ` ` `  Jessica and I, thought she had a beautiful face

I felt cool telling them about Shawn L in Shrewsbury who owns the Lamborghini at his store and they both were happy I was able to drive my nice Subaru not getting into any accidents or pulled over now Boy O Boy I was a Boy who learned about math and science at Saint John’s, that taught me to extend pleasantries to the two girls I loved

Jessica and Carina heard from me pretty early on that I thought they were both stunningly good-looking, being skinny in such a place then me revealing how I liked them so much and I wanted to them to myself, I had to become open with about my healthy habit of self-pleasure there that they were sorta curious it becoming popular in society to use lube, thinking of them in 8 East with Swiss Navy having great orgasms on a first cum first serve basis by myself going off something daring of the girls ::: both of the girls letting me feel their mouths- them telling me I could have them if I wanted to, in a California King Bed in a mansion somewhere

I said I’d thank them when I came back- and I did with my teeth I brushed three times a day

They didn’t like how my ex-girlfriend Allyson dumped me in the hospital: Fairlawn Rehabilitation Hospital for 2.5 months when my brain repaired itself every day until I was able to return home from the hospital I was in ribbit ribbit did anyone else hear that ??? I am happy to be able to go fishing with my Dad each day in one of his boats I have caught many bass this year- he used a lure and he has all his hair still, but I notice hair coming out when I comb my hair as it is now, yet I’m not going bald to any noticeable-extent like Dan who takes anti-bald pills

They each sucked my fingers to think of the sensation at some point for me we were physical as a group and we talked of lovers pulling hair from behind- in bed at night and we missed sex- IT SIMPLY WOULND’T DO !!! I had to GET OUT OF THERE !!!

I wanted to update my blogs to write about the experience while we were there` ` ` but no words came to me

I could only keep updated with the outside world through phone-calls and CNN just looking at Vinny T’s

I wanted them to look me up and we could get coffee sometime if they were free ` ` ` I wanted to explore them more

Did all of this happen ??? or did they give me the latest sex pill

I wondered, but I got off every day to Tea Leoni’s face on the cover of MORE haha

Jessica wanted me to stand behind her and pull her hair from behind- she said it made her feel good from time to time ` ` ` We talked about 50 Shades of Grey- I told them it was bizarre and it’s not for me ` ` ` I said the three of us should jump on a bed ??? Off a cliff ??? Or into a full-time MARRIAGE with these two  ??? ` ` ` I want my talking about being married to Jessica and Carina to make them come to me, but we never grinded when we’d ballroom dance together at night, as we stayed up the latest, my hands on Jessica’s waist- so thin ` ` ` We made love with our eyes- the skin on our faces and our smiles looking so pretty, everything with these girls was pretty and they said that they had no cleavage to show which was true of Carina in her hospital getup she said she liked ` ` ` She wanted to be pretty with her eyes she said as we sat at a table with coffee- they knew how many calories we’d take in each day, which is called knowing your Macro’s- They were making Carina’s face too fat, but she has gotten to be thin after being released, Like me, who is at a good weight and I go to the gym to work-out, or,  I use my Bow-Flex at home and a 110 lbs. barbell but I have tiny Like really thin thighs but some huge calves that are so BIG

We all looked so good day after day with no shower products, just plain soap and shampoo, they would sing in the shower and take special-care, to be prissed and primped all they wanted was to look good for our group, our Trio ` ` ` I told them plain as day I wanted to marry them both- I wanted to spend more time with them

I now, like this me here Jeffrey I want to see them again

We never had our hips or pelvises near each other’s because it wasn’t the place for it

Or maybe Carina sat on Jess’ lap but not mine unfortunately , we were all loving our trio !!! And I gave them squirts of my MiO drink ` ` ` Having that Fruit Punch cold liquid was cool for me to enjoy and I wanted the girls to be with me like right now this moment: I want to be with them again now

I have so many nice things to say about the girls treating me so great the whole time we were together

We were all getting along so well and they kissed my pinky with clean language coming out of my mouth

We all wanted to kiss each other and lay down while thinking of a patio set in a large bright painting of Art Deco

We didn’t spit in each other’s mouths or anything we didn’t do psycho things

I think the girls kissed to turn me on though it was just a tease

We didn’t have a stripper pole in there

Carina joked

we talked about dancing on the pole and I told them about lap dances- The girls thought of Arabian women dancing

I said I’d wear boxer-briefs twistin’ 360° upside-down, with my legs spread on the pole like a Chippendale’s dancer with abs and a dark-tan !!!

I’m a big guy who’s weighing in at 185 lbs. and I have huge abs tucked away under only a little bit of stomach-chub

We talked all day, all night long with time not really mattering for the time being, okay, we can work with the doctors to fix it, and who didn’t ask me if I’d like to be on Dexedrine or a benzodiazepine like Xanax because I don’t want to have to rely on medications to make me feel speedy or slurry, on tranq’s like prescriptions for old people in nursing homes like the one my Grammy was at and she wasn’t in too much pain before she died at 103 years old

I didn’t kiss them at all and Jessica shaved but I didn’t want to make our relationship sexual- or I really wanted that but free !!! seriously it wasn’t an option in there- I imagined nameless criminals or robbers who’ve come for Fentanyl would come in and put up a Heist- to set us free  ` ` ` she showed me her physique I wanted to explore in privacy and she was happy that I don’t have ‘ ‘ ‘ bitch-tits ‘ ‘ ‘ at all from DHEA they sell at CVS and Walgreen’s when my skin was bad

We sucked on each others’s fingers as just a thing to do when no one else was around- we were all communicating and the girls liked me, that was when we were at our closest- before the fourth member of our no-longer-a-trio a quad-ruple we became with Sabina who came later during my stay there, and you stay there you reading this I went through all of this just to be tested

I wished that Jessica and Carina had more makeup like foundation and do their nails around me, like Larissa G. always looked pretty with makeup like red lipstick ` ` ` but they didn’t put on makeup much in there 8 East I don’t want to go back to again unless I could be there with the girls I’ve fantasized about at Woo State

Jessica did something special with her makeup for me and she was 20 years-young, so I liked how she didn’t drink

We didn’t smoke anything in there- however, it would have been funny if the doctors recommended a new herb or a capsule of a strange new species of plant that we would take, like Ayahuasca the Indians with a special tea to drink- to get high and see visions ` ` ` I had one tangible vision of Heaven in a store named Morning Star on route 20, where I bought a Heaven pamphlet one day that shined as if this stairway to Heaven appeared on the front ` ` ` 

Everyone listened to me in the hospital when I hopefully live through a heart-attack from that Humatrope in my pecs with my chest and internal organs getting BIGGER every day for about ten years now,  my heart is huge now

They had free nicotine-patches for the people there but we didn’t want nicotine;  we wanted to go for a walk outside that only Carina could do sometimes

She wanted to be there with me

It didn’t have anything to do with her being a female

I asked the girls if they missed the smell of gasoline and we agreed it was cool, but we didn’t huff anything in our usual lives

We were the coolest fucking group ever and I was so happy for us being high up with our interconnectivity that was interrupted when both of my partners tried breatheing really heavy to see if it would overload our brains with precious oxygen (O2 with a little 2 up top) from the air that God created for all life on Earth =D 

and I told them about Heaven

We talked about getting our clit’s pierced on the hood, or the girls did, and they wanted small tattoos like Tribal’s with black-ink, but some people there had the worst tattoo’s from when they did them in the 60’s and 70’s with shitty tattoo machines back then

I said that I felt bad about Europeans taking over North America killing the Indians and we all prayed thanking God for giving us white skin

We talked about Hologram 2Pac and we wondered if holograms would replace screens in the future ` ` ` Like I could have holograms of Jess and Carina in the future- if I wanted and

I thought and do think that screens will become cooler with effects and vision vision for me to have better double double eye-sight to do tests with at Dr. S ’s office so my vision vision can improve greatly with sharper eye-sight in years to come ` ` ` I’d like to have better vision and I want to see visions REAL VISIONS OF HEAVEN coming true like visiting <— SPACE with the silence in my room when it happened ` ` ` It felt better than anything I have ever experienced but I’ll keep that to myself now ` ` ` 

We had enough clothes but Carina liked the hospital-top I thought it was just her, but not just MERELY her as she was part of our trio ` ` ` meanwhile some fat slob in there, was making his way to his table where he’d sit alone for the rest of the night with wristbands on both wrists and a oxygen tank separate from the cancerous smoke damaging lungs and I would love to be with these two women


I showed them my Heaven pamphlet

I showed them my Bibles

I told them about my Minister who was busy while I was in there and I would have liked to see him like I do every Sunday morning going to church and reading the passages, now singing Amen, but then: I went to Saint John’s


Holding onto the grip of the steering wheel when driving alright as Justin my brother says, ‘’’ Get a grip, man ‘ ‘ ‘ I’m not going to drive drunk again, but I have never driven drunk with Justine Aragona

my readers ` ` ` 

They thought it was funny I was reading a Poetry for Dummies book I skimmed through to read a book, but it reminded me of Poetry II with Dr. Gibbs that I’m proud of, and I told the girls about my classmates at WSU and Derek Langlois, I said I didn’t want him to die, but the girls agreed if anyone should die it should be him, as he already has the cancer and he’d want us to STAY ALIVE DEREK LANGLOIS

I made them promise me to look me up if I needed to save them because only I can  yeah only me I will make C.R. and J.T. very happy if they want me to ‘’’save’’’ them, with my parents giving me a place to live, and they can count on me !!! =D

Jessica and Carina could have came home with me and we’d sleep together in sleeping bags in my gazebo that we would decide to ZIP our Coleman sleeping bags together with 3 of us in the two-sleeping-bags together situation, or there is no situation, then proceed to make love on an air-mattress as we’d FINALLY get to sleep together forking out brains out because spooning began in the 1990’s, but alas after three weeks of wanting to be closer to each other while we were away from home, they would be mine to enjoy as girlfriends for me to make-love to !!!!!!! =D

Would there be moths in the Gazebo ???

They wanted to kill bugs but I promised the Minister I wouldn’t kill anything because it wasn’t a time to think, of DEATH with all of the N. Korea missiles in the news

I wanted to be with Jess and Carina before the world ended

I wanted to be with ‘em and talk as much as possible before we had to separate- but I wanted a 3-way marriage

I told them about Allyson who was born on July 26, 1983

Justine was born in 1991 

I forget which day of the month- and she was a teenager at the beginning of our loving relationship that didn’t exactly want us to create life it seemed that we shouldn’t procreate and maybe that’s what broke us up but she would talk about Tiph and I thought of TiPH’s CLiT as something to type- I don’t think that is wrong of me to fantasize about being with beautiful girls like Denise at Fairlawn- she’s had a child but I’m cool with that if she’d do all of the work for the baby- MILF’s on PornHub

Like a little fancy-pants thing to do, minus the pants and I needed assistance from a nurse practitioner, who would give me cute li’l things to say in our Trio of Jeffrey Marquis, so we’d continue ballroom dancing as the Titanic sank, now Bravo! good sir would you like June Vo letting me do to her what I did to Justine in my bed a few times in our 2.5 year relationship as lovers who had sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury in a car-accident

I miss dancing with these girls to no music

I imagined the world ending like pronto when I was in there- but I’m not like that anymore 

I win I know

I’m with my Marquis-Family and the mother of my child who is nameless and faceless but her eyes are a little far apart

(o)   (o)

like that- I think Allyson had one baby with my sperm I believe and I see she has twins now, so three babies, but I don’t plan on having any children

What am I DEAF ???

Or are you deaf as a Def Leppard playing Pour Some Sugar on Me ???

I’m clean I was with Justine for almost 3 years and she has had love after I myself like ME coming at you full throttle when I’m jamming away at the keyboard excited about possibly having new contact with Carina who I didn’t have much *physical* contact with her and she knows that ::: WE LEARNED IT IN PHYSICS !!!

Carina was skinny and bony a little shorter than average for a 19 year-old Carina and a 20 year-old Jessica

They were legal adults who could vote and smoke tobacco but they really weren’t into that sort of thing

They were a little young but they were the only people I liked in the hospital with our Trio

This was a hospital where we had our own rooms and everything we needed to make a connection with cool, pretty girls who made my stay easier

We talked about our pasts of high school and I told them about Saint John’s and my 1080 SAT’s- they were smart in their own ways with language being fluent and versatile unlike me in my speech that comes slowly in conversation sometimes because of my WRXTBI.com

We were in a 3 way relationship for 3 weeks of us being together and feeding off of each other’s attractive appearance, our meaningful words and perspectives like our comments to each other, and I’m glad my Mom brought Carina nicer clothes and pads for Jessica as a nice thing to do ` ` ` I think my Mom bought Carina a bathrobe from TJMaxx but her hair always needed work- you can’t do your hair in there good I guess, although maybe I should have used some Bed Head styling paste I like now

But I said, Mom please help these two girls who were/are my only friends within reach for those three weeks away from home

It was kinda hard to make myself happy while locked in the hospital eating mediocre food and no electronics !!!


Except this one song we listened to at official group-time just once! before I was leaving to go home, and I thought wow, as like a last thing they play this one song for us, or just for me really I was leaving, and I thought wow they want me to never stop believing in Heaven with this song  ::: Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’ that I enjoyed like electronic guitar and good singing- I loved it and I wanted my music from home with 320kbps audio


I thought of something positive ::: I’m not going to give up or let shitty people who caused my crash on Nov. 2nd 2004 in my WRX crash fuck with me 

I would fantasize about these two girls, my best-friends and their pretty faces, who liked Britney Spears almost as much I do-

I wanted these girls to be closer to Britney’s level of experience with her age being 21+

I wanted the two females to have worked a little more before they were in there, but – they were new to making money

I asked them if they had ever wanted to be famous and we all decided it would be safer not to be famous, but it could definitely be a good thing

I could have talked about Justine more than I did- but I couldn’t explain her Traumatic Brain Injury that they didn’t understand ` ` ` my Double Double Vision Vision I tried to explain in words, but no one knows it like I do ` ` ` They didn’t understand it

Did I kiss them ???

Did I lean into Jessica’s left ear and tell her I loved her? and she reciprocated when I told her to name the last time she got off into the margin of my page with you reading about my stay there

We all agreed, we were all in an open relationship and I would pleasure myself only thinking of them- or maybe not them (o)(o) those are Jessica’s eyes and these are Tiph’s (o)  (o) far apart not close-together, but me instead revisit a sexual scenario and the act that took place with my ex-girlfriend of nearly three years that I will always be thankful for to revisit that  tight act with a girl in my life 

I thought of Pamela Anderson she was in my head with porn-stars like Amy Reid I’d watch on PornHub

I said when Jessica my love and our Carina- I joked I wanted them to be, born on March 20th like me in 1982 so we have exactly the same age us again being born at the same moment in the same hospital but from different wombs, like it was a dream-come-true ` ` ` I wish I had some sort of proof that I spent so much time with them but just remembering them with fond memories of my having been friends with them ` ` `

Plus Téa Leoni and her beautiful face glimmering on the glossy cover of my MORE magazine and her hair were all for me to look at so the magazine was very close to me with my Bible that I kept in my room from that Christian church in Worcester

My Mom made it very clear that I would have lunch with the Minister when I’d be home which I thought was a nice thing, but it didn’t help me then ` ` ` He was praying for me though which I thank Amen Jim Chase ` ` ` and because of him and these two angels, Jessica and Carina- I wasn’t angry when I was with them, I had a smile on my face when we were together

I loved them while I was with them

I want to be with my Marquis-family that originated with my Dad’s family rest in peace Grammy

Hey you I’m not trading anything but, the bad for the good

I didn’t want my grandmother to die but maybe 103 is long enough

I hated the kid in the hospital said something like ‘’’baby mama’’’ being a thing he said to a girl once years ago when I was taken from my home, but I have never been pulled over drunk- I don’t drink now and I will have been free of alcohol for a full year this August end of summer

We formed a circle with our chairs and we all prayed to our group and us getting out of the mental hospital soon ` ` ` I prayed the hardest because I saw God inside of Justine, or any girl who’s willing to please a man using an alternate Methods of Literary Study I narrowly passed

We talked about death being right before Heaven where I can be with any of my piece of life 

Heaven in my-Life

24 on the 20-inch TV at Fairlawn with my parents

Twister at the 8 East watching the movie Twister  and I thought N. Korea was gonna launch missiles at us soon- Was I waiting to die there? Did I die to be in there??? the three of us watched Twister one night with us sitting in chairs- not Love-Seats with cumfortable cushions of elegant luxury for me to always just having pleasured myself with a smile on my face

cir-CUM-cision & CUM-na-LinGuS

Ever think of that ???


Jessica and Carina that was the order of my love for them based on appearance and upbringing and how they responded to my presence as group leader- I protected them

‘’’We’re your girlfriends now because you’re the Daddy of our trio, or something ’ ’ ’ they smiled and joked and we agreed that they were certifiably my real-life, true-to-be-honest life-partners for that time who I could trust ` `.` who I was able to love and to fantasize about while we were together in the hospital and even now I find myself wishing for them again so we can chat ` ` `  Jessica had the most beautiful face plus her hair and she was fit like in good shape of a female, the hourglass figure- but no one had big breasts and I got them to go without wearing bra’s around me because I wanted to be closer to them I’d imagine- they wanted to be friends and I just thought it would be less fabric for pointy-nipples I didn’t see but imagined with them talking about their teeth and their tongues to me

Ask me about my experience with 22% and 30% Carbamide Peroxide and I’ll tell you about what it does to teeth with Bradley Cooper in The Hangover with something new

“We would have a mansion with your Trust-Fund and your parents if they want to look out for you so you could take your pills then they could come, but we’d all live there away from the mental-hospital in a mansion I hope to live in”

. . . and marijuana would be legal. . .

“Oh yeah definitely, we’d all have ‘pot’ Carina calls it, what else ??? “

“Free-Money, We get free money and not pay taxes,” Jessica said

and without ATM Fees, Carina wanted

“We’d just live here” with a king-size bed and be happy with our three nice new cars parked outside for us to drive whenever we want to- without getting in car-accidents *** Jessica wanted a Pontiac Solstice so I told her about BT who came up with the song ‘’’Mercury and Solace’’’ *** We all wanted BMW’s *** the girls wanted ///M power like I did

And we’d all laugh and smile together- the three of us- two cute girls and myself because we were having an amazing time together ::: me with two pretty girls on free time spending all day long and all night long with NO BREAKS, just sitting at a table occassionally playing war in the cafeteria when we felt like doing something to do sometimes but we had all A.M. all P.M. sleeping well as I slept 10 hours and I’d think of it like 14 hours to be awake with breaks to lay down in my bed to pass time and think of their thin bodies in the shower that I would just be TaLLer- I’d have to bend at my knees to make our fantasies come true with us saying: we couldn’t do it in the showers ::: but they could do it all for me with my imagination, some privacy?

I read the book Fight Club one-and-a-half times through

it was a book I had at home and it was better than the movie

We sat together for periods of hours sitting across from each other

I’d take my pills and none of the pills fucked with me so I didn’t feel funny or drugged off Ruhyphnol or GHB ` ` `

We wanted to experience recreational drugs like marijuana in there with a doctor of psychedelics with a Harvard degree, but we agreed we wouldn’t take opiates because of the deaths in New Hampshire

Carina said if she wanted to see ghosts of dead people she’d move to New Hampshire

How do I do it ??? I LOVE WRITING

We all joked that we would freak out and I’d get all cryptic with my writing ((( Meguire’s WAX, Jerry McGuire on VHS ))) ( XXX ) for you-ou-ou on Diamond Eyes I bought in the mall * as I love this FAnTaSTiCaL note-taking I’m doing on my .txt’s not .doc’s and OS X Dashboard

Ah never mind ,  But ,  Alas I won’t try to own you with my writing like Doug tried to

I wish this night wouldn’t end, sing the Deftones now, and I didn’t want my time with them to end seriously I said to Jessica my Dear

And everyone wanted new stuff to own and use being happy with, like ‘’’New’’’ Hampshire ` ` ` we prayed for opiates to be harder to come by but not bye

It was nothing short of ground-breaking yet

I told them bad things about Breaking Bad and nothing will happen with me and harder drugs

I felt pretty good watching the news on channel 7 with Bri Eggers doing weather, and Heaven I bought a rhyming dictionary that my-enemies stole from me and they’re gonna get their own as Amy Reid congratulates some guy with a camera, saying, ‘’’Get up on the bed there,’’’ and my jaw dropped change, but stay the same, say into the payphone in Charlton Center I paid to use when I was dropped off waiting for my Mom after baseball practice, makes perfect in this imperfect world where I Floss my teeth and I Flaunt my FL-ay-VA Flamboyant bleach 

I could have orgasms on my own mind as I have recently porn free

I would drink the coffee with caffeine because it helps my TBI and they didn’t think I was too disabled at any point in my stay- they




D) ALL OF THE ABOVE off into Infinity

But I bring Ye back to my writing my prose my heart and soul to ADMIRE as I believe June Vo had ‘’’D’’’ TiTs implants- I didn’t talk about implants because the girls weren’t flossing cleavage, with hospital dental floss, I made sure I had every night and I think I got a couple cavities while I was there, probably from all of the whitening gum

We could wear clothes from wherever and if they had zippers it was no big deal

But they wanted our shoe-laces and I thought no one ever killed themselves with a Towel wrapped around their neck unless someone else was there holding it ` ` ` I hear you can’t kill yourself on your own

I wanted them to inquire if they had Nitrous Oxide for me for a real Therapy for people I saw on CNN before I went in

Carina wanted to breath in HELIUM so we could talk in funny voices ` ` ` ‘’’If you have balloons that Float come see Carina in 8 East ’’’

Carina had a high voice and Jess’es was average and good volume with us snapping our fingers and tapping our feet like hippies at a drum-circle she laughed, in Woodstock feeling the medicines changing our perceptions for the better ` ` ` We were all medicated in there, not sedated AT ALL but just happy and content with what I have created here

They appreciated Jimmy Hendrix’ songs I knew well The Experience and they liked the guitar they heard in his Purple Haze song and ‘’’in your brains’’’ we smiled thinking of how great it’s gonna be to get out of there and put on headphones

I was unable to listen to music there, but I was happy ::: I had the girls singing me songs with their soft voices, me watching their lips lubricated sliding back and forth with Burt’s Beeswax bringing us closer ` ` ` you take me closer to God ‘ ‘ ‘

I’d love to be with Jessica Tocci and Carina Ricciardi again with us free to do what we want

It was May and that royal princess baby named Charolette was born

I loved Charolette on Sex And The City and I was glad to think of her looking beautiful on the show HBO

Tiph probably had her baby and I would love to be with her now I’m home

I told the girls that people had my sperm and they’re not getting any more *flush*and there’s a liquid-residue on the top of the water like clear Jello, I do as a courtesy to my Dad I flush twice so there’s none of that bullshit I didn’t think was a big deal before my WRX TBI wrxtbi.com in 2004 on voting night and apparently I didn’t like any of that

Cecily Strong reminds me of Christie Gilmore I knew at Woo State and I told them about Anastasia and Tiph and Mannie all in my top 10 list 

Carina and Jessica had taken college classes they were doing but neither of them had any real credentials as far as degree’s or knowledge, but they weren’t stupid fucks who got ‘’’Three Numbers Big’’’ I broke a thousand with 1080 good enough for Northeastern in Boston circa 2000

Now I’d score lower

People forget

Don’t kill me


I said, ‘’’Kenny dies in every episode’’

They said maybe I shouldn’t say that around our population

Oh all my medicines  hmm  I didn’t notice a difference in anything special but I tried a few drugs advised by my doctors and no I’m not skitzophrenic or taking fuckin’ Depakote or whatever these crazies take, yeah there were a bunch of people there who were into those, –

Tons of pills and medicines with various shots into their veins, and subcutaneous Decanoate I know but at the slightest hint of agitation or aggression in their own actions to set off ticks and twitches in their wacky brains, leading to a need for more pills or a totally new chemical- a drug that probably has a ton of side-effects that are undesirable ` ` ` ✞ I wouldn’t go out of my way for them because they acted like they put up a front and I didn’t talk to the staff there much ` ` ` I thought ::: are these people experiencing like STATIC fabric softeners and my Mom washed my clothes ` ` ` I wore jeans some days and on others I wore running pants or baggy shorts I told my Mom I would switch to boxer shorts while I was in there and I wanted an organ of mine that’s very special for me to have with me, to swing ` ` ` I don’t ever leave it at home !!!

I always keep it with me and it means a lot to me to have one that others admire

They took the shoelaces off my shoes, everyone’s shoes, but I didn’t get high off the medicines, yeah I didn’t get high there off anything but the love I shared with these two 20 year-olds who were very pretty and skinny with beautiful faces but not much in the T i T s department so they reminded me of breasts like that Spice Girl you know who Sporty Spice from the 90’s- their bodies were like hers athletic-looking with slippers on and nice athletic pants- I wore too- , I remember Jessica looking all beautiful


I don’t want to have to go back to the mental-hospital or court again like I did in ’05 and I don’t drink now or do anything wrong like I did on November 2nd in 2004 after I went to a bar


I have been through a Traumatic X-perience with me having had to go there 

*back to the place I stayed for 3 weeks*

It was amazing, I have never experienced anything like it ‘’’ but back to normal ‘’’ the Red Sox are playing as the announcer on TV says ‘’’ but back to normal ‘ ‘ ‘ and I would talk about my writing- I asked Jessica and Carina to hold onto copies of my ‘’’Elegance’’’ that I’m proud of, I signed their copies with a note and me with a wide grin =D

We wanted to be at a Red Sox game; I told them about semicolons and I told them that there will be advances in cancer in our lives we hoped we all prayed in unison and took moments of silence to remember those who have left us to be with God

The doctors knew what to look for in my medicines and I responded well to the new drugs that have come out and they’re the latest in mood-enhancement

I heard of: LSD micro-dosing with many Silicon Valley techies and computer scientists right now, reads a headline I saw, and I’ve done the same-drugs as Steve Jobs which first showed me that MORE IS POSSIBLE, like with this sex I experienced me cumming twice being circumvented ??? or, circumference ??? NO YOU FOOL ::: I’m talking about CIRCUMSCISION where the germs come off in the shower for anal sex I saw Heaven with

I have an analogy <— see what came out naturally for me?

I have a comparison: putting mudflaps on your Subaru 

Did they give us drugs to allow the government to infiltrate my life and my thoughts- my writing ???

Did the cop who came to my crash IMPRINT me ???

Was Cousin Dan there or Sue Rezuke ??? Who caused my crash ???

I like the Minister a lot and I’m part of the Charlton Federated Church’es flock under Jim Chase my Minister

I don’t have to do anything

I’m a man with natural-in-the-body hormones I don’t take steroids I don’t take prohormones, but I am a man and I have needs:

In my own room with my own shower and a bed for one I’d masturbate a few times a day IN THE PRIVACY OF MY BED OR BATHROOM  and the surgeon general says it’s natural and healthy for the body

zI always want great orgasms which I have experienced a.new height of Heaven with a new way to have sex with girls, who, some enjoy it with pretty females

My door had a little window but no one ever looked in- I had a good ‘grip’ on what I could do there without getting anyone but myself involved

I think God would be happy that I can have orgasms by myself using only a Hollywood magazine cover — Téa Leoni’s pretty pretty face was my all-access pass to happiness in there when I wasn’t with my partners at the hospital 8 East

Sitting down with beautiful Jessica and skinny Carina with a decent face yeah she was pretty enough for me to smile at her all the time

The girls would tease me a little poking fun at the pudge on my stomach- and we were all getting fat in there ` ` ` Carina would walk the halls ` ` ` She had the cutest laugh and I have seen her photos of her since- she’s still skinny Like skinnier than in the hospital, and she looked happy 

They said, ‘’’Our Trio, like we as a group, decided not to all have sex together at the same time until our honeymoon in Hawaii but the two of us would give you blowjobs or I said we shouldn’t say that- call it ‘’’oral sex’’’ together until then,’’’



We were turned on;

I was turned on by them

“Yeah Carina will kiss you and you could Finger-Bang us because we each saw it on South Park,” they teased, we all laughed

“And you’d give us both creampies, that’s what you want ??? ” one of them said, and we promised if we ever cross paths in life again the two of us would team up and find the third member to our awesome 3-some so we could be together as one again

Jess said, what do you want from us ??? We’ll see if we can do it for you ,

“”” Because she was the slut and you’d be The Daddy “””

*giggle* this really happened and we were all slaphappy in there on many occasions- and we wanted our TEAM yes it was a real TEAM all of the people in 8 East, I suppose, but our 3-way friendship made us powerful together and very happy because we all felt amazing being so intimate with each other, being totally in-tune with these girls like the hippies in the 60’s at Woodstock with us talking about how great YouTube! is, we’d all have our own channels and we’d appear on each other’s channels, so I told them about Hayleigh Noel and her makeup channel- I wanted our trio looking the best because I wanted us to be cool in there with all of us responding to medications ` ` ` Jessica had a temper at home apparently and I would swear that I wanted to be with her ` ` `

We were so cool in that place that people let us go first with everything, and our trio like a menage-a-trios watching whatever was on a decent TV there with almost no cable! but we all tripped on these pills they gave us ` ` ` The girls said, ‘’’What if the people on staff, like the doctors, what if they came up to you and said you had to eat these mushrooms they had with them as a Treatment ??? ‘’’

Or you had to snort something

I wanted CBD to numb my pain

I said that- I’d do whatever the doctors wanted, me going to every group-therapy session they offered once I was up like, following breakfast, and I had a full day of having nothing to do

But don’t do anything to me

I’m serious, don’t send me back there !!!

I want to live at home now and drive my Subaru Legacy and be with Mom and Dad until they pass on into Heaven when they die

Morning and Night it was all Fluorescent

And this all really happened !!!

We filled our breakfast, lunch and dinner menu’s out and I would order 3 grilled-cheeses or pizza with a real lot to eat- with ice-cream that I tried to work off with exercise, but all I could do was pushup’s and crunches with no music, Just I was trying to impress everyone there with how big my muscles are from all the exercise I do at the gym

I had the three of us working out in our rooms and I told the girls to do whatever they could to get abs that Carina sort of had and so did Jess

I told them about my brief experience with Melanotan II peptides and I told them to remember: Melanotan II and tanning stuff getting big in Hollywood special skin

We all felt sexual and the girls were happy to hear that I said I had a hormonal ‘’’Flow’’’ going which I could feel in my body because of my masturbating to Tea Leoni’s face, and being with them their selves there to smile at me so pretty seeing the healthy skin on their faces, and they wore red lipstick for me as I thought it’d be nice thinking about their lips and the ones between their hips which were probably what I expected with thongs, they did things differently than what I thought with pads

I miss these two angels very-much !!!

They granted me a vacation for 3 weeks with these two girls I experienced a ‘’’retreat’’’ with for three weeks in May of 2015

Carina could go outside because she was there before us  and they let her have a little freedom, so Jessica and I were a little jealous but not much just a little ` ` ` none of us smoked cigarettes so we were excited that we were gonna live for a long time, but Carina didn’t know how long it would be until she could go home and she didn’t want to die in the near future, never going to kill herself and never having tried to kill herself

She left before I did

and I spent less than a week without either of the girls there and boy did that suck

my eyes were always glazed-over with my glasses always clean

The whole time I was in there I could feel the extra moisture in front of my eyes that made me sad

But I had my lube and I could think of Miley Cyrus naked at the beach- I was thankful for it kept me sane- remembering all the sex with Justine

CNN also became important to see that the world is still happening even though I couldn’t see it

A rocket went into space I saw on TV I kept it on CNN  I was hoping for some great advance with evolution, or something in the universe effecting our planet

The girls mentioned solar-flares and I yawned- I wanted something BIG to happen with gravity I thought of reversing itself and everyone would fly upward in toward the sky I dream to fly


I was waiting for a terrorist event to happen, but the three of us prayed together


It’s the only thing I’d want to watch there and I was waiting to hear of my going to Heaven which my Minister assures me I’m going

I always wanted to be updated about the news because I thought something major would happen

I felt good that I was in a hospital if there was an unfortunate event so I’d have food and people I liked with me

I, I , I 

I didn’t have sex with them in a 3-some while I was there but it was so tempting for me to have these beautiful beauties being like intimate with me, with me living there- somewhere new- for three weeks straight with visits from my parents who had to sit in the ol’ cafeteria with me that had artificial lighting- I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad compared to sunlight

I told them about a song by the Deftones called ‘’’Sextape’’’ and they wanted to know how it went ` ` ` I told them he sings “Hours of pleasure,” in it and I told them to watch the video for it as it had a funny YouTube description and I want to explore the universe ` ` ` reminding me of Justine and all of the good, natural sex we had but usually she would just swallow like swalla that song that just came out that Allyson didn’t want anything to do with my cum she hated it and she didn’t do what I wanted her to get me off with her mouth or her hand she never did but I don’t want anyone to die because she denied my wishes to get me off on a vacation car-ride where she wouldn’t get me off

Back to our fantasies Jessica and Carina really riled me up and I just wanted to be sleeping in a bed for us having a threesome so cum galore lo and behold they were my best friends for a a few weeks and I want to be with them both again !!!

“We’d all eat at The Sole Proprietor and we’d do Low-Carb diets and Carina, the one who was a little too skinny- would eat enough to make her full and we’d all be healthy and rich and no one could fuck with us “

Jessica was so entrancing I felt so much interest in her, talking to her, but there was no music, we danced to

“We’d go to Trader Joe’s and get Chicken Tikka Masala, you had with Dana at Bollywood,”

They learned my life-story and I even told them I know I’m not gay and I liked them both

We had all gotten high before and we didn’t know if it would help us or hurt us in there

The people who worked at the hospital had a ‘’’RELAXATION GROUP” at night that I would enjoy with Jessica and she looked exactly COMFY in sweats and tight tank-tops boobs` ` ` the three of us wanted to have sex together but the girls didn’t even have to get naked there, like they wouldn’t even know if they were naked like Adam and Eve, and we talked about our bodies a lot like bra sizes how much we weighed etc. etc. ` ` ` I told them I didn’t go to strip-clubs because I go to church and I don’t like trashy girls ` ` ` I told them about my never driving drunk and now I don’t drink ` ` `

None of us cried except Carina a little bit and I felt horrible that she was sad about things, but I wasn’t her and I felt good that I hadn’t cried or been sad — I was thankful they didn’t take away my anti-depressant =D

We all hugged and held hands because we were a party of three having parties together in a properly lit room with a TV playing the sound

There was no music channel

It was a party in our circle and in conversation with flirty little things- we were happy

We all had clear, clean white skin and I was happy they had outgrown blemishes for a long time now

I know my going to a mental-hospital was a punishment for my WRX crash and TBI from 13+ years ago

I had my Bible with me from a Christian church in Worcester and I’d read the beautiful prose of the Psalms, and then I had all my religious gear with me, like I read the poetry of the Psalms in the Bible and I read a book about them

I was their friend and I told the girls I wanted them to read the Psalms while we all sat in this BORING hospital for three weeks together with nothing to do and I wanted to go home

I asked them to do pushup’s and sit-up’s for me to show me they were tough ` ` ` it was very important they trusted me and I gave them impetus to survive

I tried to keep them in good shape and beautiful with lipstick, I wanted to make their stay something special- something that would make them remember good things while we were together for those three weeks away from home not driving or going to stores and restaurants, not being able to watch movies or use the internet or go outside- 

I told them to do High-Intensity Interval Training HIIT that burns fat better than just cardio, I told them about, and if they want to shed body fat at the gym doing cardio going for walks in the summer that I used to walk my dog Ripley like that rip

The doctors who made Carina gain weight were trying to make her gain more-weight than she needed and she looked better thinner but not so thin just some definition

For my stay I didn’t need to go outside- they wouldn’t let me go outside, but it was UMass in the city

I told the girls to think of me in a positive light and pretend they were my girlfriends

We tried ballroom dancing together in the cafeteria sometimes to pass time and we tried hip-hop dancing to no music, but the girls shook their booties because girls have fun doing that in front of hot guys like me ` ` ` I would have fantasized about a lap dance at a strip-club upon my release a nocturnal-release and emission from the EPA MPG at Sunoco 

Was I LOCO ???

I don’t think about the mental-hospital as necessary like had-to-happen it didn’t, and it didn’t it did not ’’’ I saw it as punishment for my WRX-crash I told them all about

I could tell they didn’t like my scars, but they assured me my butt is not too Flat  ` ` ` but I wanted a big body like Gronk ` ` ` I didn’t think about him in fear of falling in love with an image of him being naturally BIG, very STRONG for my New England team champions

[ the Patriots image ]

The girls did their hair together and we all shaved in our showers I trimmed my balls and around the base as usual so nothing was different

I brushed the same and I told my Mom to bring the girls whitening toothpaste because it would be fun to focus on self-improvement, I could give them tips for low-carb

I spent a lot of time on this phone they had that dialed out

Most of the people-I knew were counting on me getting out early and resuming normal life as usual

I had a bunch of phone numbers memorized and my parents gave me some of people who wanted to hear what I have to say in that place that locked me in for three weeks of no internet and no computers or music

With the exception of elements in nature who sing like birds or pigeons coo’ing there was no music for us to hear

I called Dana a lot and I think I talked to Mrs. Langlois plus leaving a few voicemails for Derek to hear

I called home 2-3 times a day and my parents would visit okay to hear o dear

I had my Mom bring my notes and photographs of me with friends and internet printouts of my websites and soliloquies to show the girls I wanted to show them what I had looked like in previous years before-and-after my WRX spin out but SPIN magazine with Kurt Cobain on the cover with NIRVANA, Jessica asked what nirvana is like with the blessing- Justine showed me  her love` ` ` I may never have that pleasure again with me her lover inseminating her ` ` ` Allyson hated my cum and that’s evil of her to be so uptight- Allyson had my baby with sperm that was stolen from me  ` ` ` 

I saw she had one baby probably with my sperm, and then she had Twinzies

Allyson was not kinky at all and she wasn’t willing to learn about sex with me ` ` ` I hated that, but she was prettier than Ariel ` ` ` She had major Daddy-Issues she took-out on me !!!!!!!

I told the girls who promised them- I would never call them ‘bitches’ and they weren’t bitchy at all, they felt great that I was there with them to cheer them up and alleviate their stress by setting a model-example ` ` ` I told them all about my ‘’’Imprinting’’’ that was the reason I got mentally checked out by neuropsychologists who knew about the brain and medicines ` ` ` THE ‘’’IMPRINTING’’’ ` ` `  then I return to where I’ve cummed from in my head I mean my bed *wink*

I didn’t swear while I was there and Carina was just so sad she didn’t know what was next being kinda scared helpless and sad- But she was not alone when I’d rub her back and give her a hug with the promise, if she ever needed help in life to look me up ` ` ` and she already found me on Facebook

I had a lemon-water MiO flavor squirter containing caffeine so I went through one of those quick and I had a second one at home, my Mom brought, but she couldn’t bring me any pills

That dark-green squirter sped up my brain it was my super-power and we all could read each other’s minds and we agreed it would be okay to all be hippies in a love-fest with pleasurable drugs

The doctors were doing their own thing and not really interacting with me yeah I was just sitting around with the people who I thought were okay talking bullshit about when we’d get out

I would drive again and listen to songs on the radio while staying away from drinking or doing bad things

I told them about my always feeling Lucky in life and how I would buy scratch-tickets compulsively asking what number was printed on the ticket

I always wanted to win and profit with my finances

It was May outside and the temperature was warm with the sun shining bright and I had the best tan for a bit in the beginning

We were very pale and I told them about Chris and Christie my friends at Geneva Street

Our trio stayed indoors because it was nicer and comfortable, relaxed like a pair of jeans that were tattered and I’m thinking of jeans with holes at the knees, like Acid-Washed fabric ` ` ` We talked about getting high but not from opiates ((( unless we were in real pain now don’t ever let me suffer ))) I told them about braincell-killing DXM cough syrup they saw on Jerry Springer that I tried in high-school at Saint John’s a private Christian school where I learned about how to make the right decisions with peers that I did flawlessly before my WRX crash

Foot Fetish? Not me,

I could tell the girls wanted to be tickled and laugh but I stayed in my seat

I was as happy as a clam having an orgasm, with them Jessica and Carina  ‘yeah’ what happened to them ???

Did I give them fantasies of us going free soon ???  Our Trio able to resume a normal life and being happy in the world

Because it was May I thought of MAYDAY and I thought N. Korea was going to launch a missile towards the USA ` ` ` YOU-knighted States of ‘Merica I was working and taking college classes earning a degree before my Traumatic WRX-crash

Trump would launch nukes and I was ‘ ‘ ‘ just chillen ‘ ‘ ‘  in the hospital with these two girls who were into me

I was nervous about Trump being the President, but that’s kind of why I wanted him to win, so we all talked about the government and our Army ` ` ` Carina would have marched and I told them about Chris Rock saying ‘’’I AIN’T FIGHTING’ !!! ‘’’

I told them about Akinyele and their song: PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH 

They were over 18- they took college-classes getting good grades

Neither of them had any ‘’’Ticks’’’ in their brains or personalities

No nervous habits from us- but some people there were a li’l fucked up

I had two packs of mint Orbitz gum that whitened my teeth and I told them what pret-a-porter means it was a movie with a hit song in the soundtrack

I was looking for simple thrills to keep my mind entertained, so I asked my Mom to bring Vicks Vapo-Rub for me to harness imagined ‘’’huffing’’’ the smell,  I asked if the girls wanted some and Carina said it was a good idea ` ` ` yeah you wouldn’t fucking believe it, we wanted the sun but we didn’t want to burn, and maybe in the future everyone dies of skin-cancer from the sun getting brighter- something differently in God’s universe

They were actively staying away from skin-cancer and I think Melanotan II is going to be big in the future 

I wanted my Mom to bring carbamide peroxide for us- a professional teeth whitener so we could look good- we were all hot in our clothes comfy and free-moving 360*

I told them about Direct White I had good results with, and they both decided to whiten their teeth when they’d get out like Carina has !!!!!!!

I said what’s a ‘’’push-up bra’’’ ??? because we all did push-up’s in our rooms

I wished I had business-cards or a photo of me to give them, but that wasn’t allowed which sucks

We talked about ((( and they said I’d write about all this for my website ))) what it’s like to be male and female and we chatted about our bodies and the process of aging as they were in their 20’s with no wrinkles using Dove to wash their faces

I didn’t want Carina to have a child if she continued to have problems with eating food

I’d say Car-ina like CARE-rina I need to help you prepare dinner at night around 5:30 when Family Matters was on TBS Taking Back Sunday my favorite band KA-RINA

/but not ‘’’Tina’’’ 

because that’s a thing Mr. Deedy knew about- but Carina became about CARE for me she would care to my quest for intimacy when I felt eager to show these two girls that I’m a good person who didn’t want to be there for too long — we all felt like we were missing out on life — I wanted to be at home again in my room with my big TV, with me who rarely swore- they liked my language with me thinking outside-the-box and using a wide vocabulary and even playing with rhyme from my poetry

I felt very happy doing that with ‘’’ My Ladies ‘’’ wait no my ‘’’Lizzadies’’’ I told them, but I never actually asked them to keep hush-hush about like because I was there

Oh I wanted them to chat freely and never feel pressured ` ` ` I was in a situation of absolutely no-pressure but what’s caused by the atmosphere in a NO PRESSURE HOSPITAL WITH EVERYTHING EASY BREEZY BEAUTIFUL COVER GIRL LIKE Tea Leoni I who’s face on the cover of MORE magazine ` ` ` I WANTED MORE OF THIS HEAVEN I WAS IN !!!!!!!

But was I too close ???

So far only I have broken into space on one occasion with Justine

I didn’t say a single thing about Sabina because she was only 17 and I didn’t want to be there with a girl who I wanted her to have a good opinion of me being in good shape – she was tanner than me and we talked about fake-baking really not being fake because it’s your skin having melanin- Melanotan II was popular with bodybuilders so I tried it with needles I bought at CVS and Walgreen’s I told them about they’d hear of it in the future

During the day was sometimes no fun since we could see the cars driving out the window-view of route 9, and stock-market changes on the ticker in the lower-right corner on CNN= to let us know that the world was ‘’’going on’’’ around us ` ` `  as we all liked to talk about things in the evening, after dinner we had as a group of girls in my troop and I we were happy together and I want to be with as many girls as possible to make babies with for the government who knows my parents have a lot of money ` ` ` but that didn’t matter at all when I was in the hospital

I told them how nice my parents are as the people who raised me like how they treat me, and I told the girls how they put an addition on the house for my room to be bigger when I got out of Fairlawn 12 years ago in 2005

I remember drinking diet ginger ale and in the hospital- Good thing it was Diet- I was ailing for attention from my parents who I would spend 20 minutes on the phone with a few times a night with the girls coming with me to keep me company- while I was on the phone with my parents sometimes the two girls would come and keep me company as real people I could be with ` ` ` I had Jessica do push-up’s in the hallway and Carina would walk the hallways- which I saw as not cool- I would feel my body in bed and I had a pair of blue shiny shorts to wear late at night ` ` ` This was so great I could hug the girls who I was totally cool with and we all wanted each other to be happy and not sad =D

Alas, they learned how happy I was at Chandler Gardens in 2006 with a new Macintosh to learn OS X on a sleek white computer because I have white skin and it was a funny coincidence ` ` ` Does Apple want whites to be at the peak of the mountain ??? With everyone else looking up at us, upon the summit like that old Summit Racing that came in the mail I got that had performance-parts for domestic sports cars like Mustangs and Camaro’s ` ` ` They sold K&N air-filters I already had, and I would recommend you all to get a new K&N one to increase horsepower and improve fuel-economy

They asked me if I’d ever write about my time in there and I didn’t think I would, but I said I’d use their names online so they could find me and we’d reunite- together in a house that my trust fund would buy us a place in Florida yeah we agreed on Tampa because I told them good things about a girl who I liked from WSU ` ` ` Trust me I told them about every single girl who I wanted to romance, and how beautiful faces can be as I was in-charge of our Trio our Team ` ` ` Trust me they knew I was horny with both of them being ‘into’ me and making me comfortable with some ridiculous quick-comments about  me pleasuring myself  thinking only of fantasies of Carina & Jess in my bedroom just loving everything with them ` ` ` They didn’t have any part of my private business in my room, and it was very-cool

I am W. Marquis’ son and I want to go back there with them sometime but sleeping in one big bed and me with my lube =P as a way of bonding I’d *MARRY* them if they’d be into me now in the know these girls will come to me and I will be with them again, but this time with 1. cannabis chocolate 2. music devices 3. food from the Sole Proprietor

Plus I’d like to have used a better pen for writing, they had special ones that ‘’’bend’’’ for the suicidal people who were staying there which couldn’t have easily been used to kill one’s self

We dared not utter anything that had to do with suicide because we knew we were getting help, or at least Jessica was because around 2 weeks in she had an ‘’’episode’’’ of some anger and emotion, I wanted to see, but I heard her yell something kinda Loud in her room with someone standing out in the hallway making sure she didn’t hurt herself

She was playing with a loaded Magnum uh condom I use 

Carina told me to get the best Mont Blanc I could afford and write them a letter with it

Ivory tusks, 24k with diamonds

I enjoy trying on watches at jewelry stores like Hannoush in the mall, I wanted to  be able to walk around, I told them I missed the people at GNC and Vitamin Shoppe ` ` ` I wanted a whey protein shake and I tried to get my Mom to bring some, but that was like 2 weeks in and she told me I’d be free and able to live nicely

Jessica wanted my parents to buy it for me as a gift, she said because they love me and I was right

They haven’t left me =D

We usually played WAR a lot with the cards but I made a point to say that I wasn’t at war with anyone or myself or my parents- I just wanted to go home and be able to drive my car to The Sole Proprietor I wanted food from that whole time

please my Fans and my Readers ((( real ))) help me find these two girls who I WANT TO BE WITH THESE GIRLS AGAIN !!!!!!! xxx

They both called me Jeffrey and I was pleased


* I just thought of my hospital visit for you to read *

Like I fantasize about being with the girls now- I want them so much , we prayed for Infinity to come true for us and for the universe, or maybe not ‘ ‘ ‘ THE UNIVERSE ‘ ‘ ‘ but I told them we shouldn’t disrupt or destroy God’s universe as we wanted it to come to an end Eons away, or maybe there will be a solution to everything ` ` ` I told them to imagine Infinity with Happy Thoughts -=- -=- -=- of Daniel Tosh

yet there was no Comedy Central and we wanted to see the Daily Show and South Park in the evening

There was The World Series or a sporting event that was important one week and I wanted to see Formula 1 Racing that I remember Jay Chase imitating an F1 engine at 10,000 RPM’s at its peak, to pique your interest in my stay that I don’t want to repeat unless I could be with Jessica and Carina again as LOVERS !!!!!!! =D

I just wanted to be with them again, the final days of my stay in that medical place 

I just wanted my girls my friends my reason to live on in that place where I suffered 

I just wanted to be free and getting back together with Justine Aragona, I wanted back

I told them about Fight Club and they’d seen the movie so I told them about the author who has written many books I’ve read: Chuck Palahniuk

I read them a cool monologue in the book and they liked me, they loved me & the things I was into

I told Carina how I “wanted to breathe smoke” and she said I’d spit fire like “spit hot fi-ya’’’ like Artie Lange she said

We didn’t drink alcohol.

I didn’t want to drink there but I would have done whatever the doctors wanted me too with big stars and trendy bars for the helpful doctors and coordinators who helped me get out and I’m still curious why I was there, does this go out the doctors who’ve changed my meds and I keep to myself smoking medical-marijuana with edibles and CBD that GNC sells now

Miley sings and we all needed each other while they rubbed my shoulders- but not for a long time or anything-  I didn’t touch Carina as she had no muscle to add healthy weight

Her joints were huge everyone saw, with thin bones- her ribs weren’t too visible anymore as she’d given up on anorexia- that the girls would do and Jessica didn’t throw up, she told me to write that I would be writing about all of this to tell you the Heaven I saw with these two girls who couldn’t drink yet ` ` `

I loved them like I love Selena Gomez who was about as old as Justine Aragona was my girlfriend for two-and-a-half years and I didn’t have a baby with her- butt maybe I could with Jess and Carina- one child each, no holds barred we’d come at each other as hard as we could in bed where our love be like Sean and Sunny

God tells me:  me on you and I want to be as close as possible with God right now, ‘Amen’ I pray

I want to be with these two sweethearts who I told about my whole life and everything ??? with the hospital again ??? Or who said anything about a hospital?? We could live at Chandler Gardens

I wanted to sleep in my own room at home and eat at restaurants like The Sole Proprietor I enjoy food from but that I couldn’t eat for 23 days of 3 meals a day, no snacks- but I had whitening gum

I wanted whey protein from home, but there was no kitchen room and I stayed well fed

They wouldn’t let me keep a protein-bar in my room ` ` ` it was that strict and I hated it because it was a waste of my valuable-time

They were trying experimental drugs there that the doctors were giving us we thought as a joke to be in such a place where we were totally free to do what we cared to do, Jessica Tocci and I, but we unable to leave the floor ` ` ` Carina was supposed to break us out but she forgot, or something, but we all chose to stay friends despite our lack of permissions to be free in the world ` ` ` And I said we were on a micro-dose of acid as a joke but I didn’t trip there, really, much, and I haven’t in a long time and the girls hadn’t taken anything harder than marijuana which I thought they should be different not getting a natural rush from starving yourself so skinny

We didn’t- as I called it, ‘’’Flake Out’’’ and I told them about sport-bikes the Hayabusa going 200-mph, Gixxers, and a girl named Kristen from the West Coast who called my house soon after my WRX crash

She wanted to know why I wasn’t online for a long time and she called my house but I had a girlfriend at the time


I remember that girl Kristen from Washington who called my house soon after I got my Traumatic Brain Injury and my parents answered, telling her I was in the hospital and almost-died 


And maybe that’s bad in the grande scheme of things and I shouldn’t bring her up in my writing

But I liked her so much with her pretty face and thin- toned body with white skin, thin white skin

So I think of her from time-to-time when I write because of Poetry II and Facebook

Maybe she would have not gotten drunk and on the road at the same time if she said yes to me

Prance about the cafeteria for three weeks, us patients and I could always wear my shoes…

Just no LACES !!!!!!!

We used little zip-ties for laces and we never had to tie our shoes- I said I wish for a day where I can tie my shoes again like normal- so did they-

I wanted the temperature in my room to be cool but there was no thermostat

I wanted to get in a snowball fight with the girls them and me throwing ice at each other but ICE- that’s nicey nice we all agreed on no one would get hit in the face, like none of us would be injured

I took a hot shower and that helped, one of the girls told me to

There was a guy there about my age but I didn’t like how he looked and I avoided him

There were disabled people but Carina and Jessica weren’t and I liked that

There was one guy around my age who was normal except for a condition

Maybe marijuana will become legal and it will be a reason why we don’t have to be in places like this, Carina thought

I knew about NETA before I went in there

I hoped when I got out I’d get a medical-marijuana card and go to a dispensary

But there in 8 East , 

The hallways were always bare

There were No trays, no room-service

I was so eager to talk to these beautiful girls with my beautiful self who was leaner ’n’ meaner than anyone in that hospital before GH2 came out and what happened to Tiffany ???

The girls thought I wasn’t too strict with them and I could have been meaner

But I was so nice to them both as my soul came yeah my soul came too, chatting with them about love and happiness where I’d pleasure myself in privacy, my soul had one long orgasm with them for the duration of my stay with them and I was so happy to know them so well


They were beautiful at glance

Carina timed her breathing

Jessica straightened her glasses

We played ‘footsie’ wearing socks

I always wore my shoes with a lift

I told them about the photo’s of Justine

That I haven’t shared online of her naked

I don’t want to get her parents mad

I had two-orgasms with her and I saw a space, the galaxy

For about 20 minutes one night and a couple other experiences

We weren’t evil smokers

I don’t smoke tobacco

I didn’t want to smoke tobacco- I wanted to go outside and feel the sunshine Vitamin D, we asked, are we getting enough natural Vitamin D and it would be great if they could put a UV-safe tanning bed at the end of the hallway ` ` ` at the end of the hallway where the phone was to dial out to my parents and Dana- I think I talked to Mrs. Langlois and she wished for me to get out soon ` ` `

The vitamin-pill we took in the morning was the size of an M&M

There was someone there with mild retardation who couldn’t even talk to anyone and we all hated how he was one of us too in the hospital

Like, he was in our population

And I wanted to make babies with Jessica who — with the exception of yelling in the hospital once !!! — I thought would be a good Mom, but what do I know?, I KNOW I want to be together with them again ` ` `

Jess let’s have a baby and Carina let’s have a baby, we could live together,  Think IT WILL WORK

The helpless kid who couldn’t speak in sentences shit his pants one day and this special person he was walked around until the staff helped him


I had cologne and the girls had perfume I encouraged them to wear

They had Britney Spears perfume

We didn’t get Comedy Central which sucked as much as NO HEADPHONES, NO MUSIC

After a could weeks of having three meals a day with these girls, I would call Jessica, my dear, and she smiled with a kissy face teasing me

Dear pass the salt I would make a face, please kiss me on the lips because I find myself interacting with you conversating the situation? Yeah Mike Sorentino yeah Jeffrey me myself writing this I wanted abs like him, me never using Anavar or whatever got him the six-pack for MTV

Carina Cares

I cared for them emotionally always telling them good things and apparently I responded well to the LSD micro-doses- we were Always Trippin’ in there, but I really wasn’t

I didn’t notice anything from the meds

I always had orgasms while I was there

Téa Leoni every time I needed pornography

But I usually didn’t and I mentioned sex-pills and what ‘plz’ means to me with Justine A.

Money didn’t talk, in the hospital- we had none

I was glad no one really poor was there, who I knew about

Carina said something about a briefcase filled with money

and I was drinking as much coffee as I could, so it would

Combat my TBI disability with a stimulant to bring me back to life

Evanescence we’d heard their songs and I haven’t heard them lately

I miss the girls singing and whistling for me making cutesy faces 

I WAS IN PAIN  at the scene of my WRX-crash !!!!!!! So if you had something to do with my getting drunk that day calling me on the phone telling me to get drunk at a bar and drive-fast in my WRX drunk, you dead-soon fucks, Then and only then I WANT YOU DEAD ` ` ` I told Jessica and Carina that other people, some relatives of mine, are the reason why my WRX-crash happened so I’m okay with them DYING right away

It would be better for me if my-enemies DIED like ASAP and I want them to burn in Hell

But I like the Minister his members from the Charlton Federated Church and I’m sure he wouldn’t let it happen 

I wish Jim Chase could have visited me there, but that kinda woulda been like a ‘’’better-than’’’ thing with for me using God’s powers to write all this, reminiscing about all that pleasure I experienced briefly with my ex- with other people there who were bored and sitting by themselves with fireworks going off in their heads with the TV playing ::: now Uber says ‘’’chillen’’’ in a new commercial ` ` ` We were all very bored together and I loved it having two girls there who liked me a lot ` ` ` Jim Chase the Minister, He’s gonna have lunch with me soon, and I had showed him the Heaven pamphlet I bought years ago

I’ve kept two Bibles a Hymnal and a book of Psalms on the side of my bed I don’t sleep on because I always want God to be close with me as I remain still typing this gold for you ` ` ` that David Renaud really enjoyed reading, someone I grew up with and his house is now inhabited by Bill & Joan W. who I see in church

Trump was preparing missiles to teach the anal-sex-hyped-up Syrian fiends not to blow themselves up killing innocent people over there- was Ashley intent on killing people or was it a mistake- was it on purpose ???

I’m saved and I have printed my essay about my stay in the mental-hospital many times to revisit these memories I have had saved up for one long essay I’m going to get to Carina Telling her Alerting her Letting her know ::: I love her as a nice girl a good girl who liked the Goo-Goo Dolls and I told them how every time I hear their hit ‘’’Iris’’’ I think of my first kiss with her Plus I don’t believe I ever cheated on Allyson 

1. “Grab them by the pussy,” Trump said. “You can do anything.”

The fact that our President said that made us act silly in there

I’m well-endowed and the girls said they could tell- I don’t know how

Like who knows what’s gonna happen next ` ` ` I never dreamed I’d ever be confined ever and I don’t want it to happen again

2. Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton ` ` ` Most men probably hope  that if they ever had any extra-marital sex they’d get away with it, or just it won’t happen, said Carina who introduced me into the fact that I don’t even have to do anything and God just loves me and Jim Chase with my Marquis-family going to Heaven

Derek Langlois was my friend and I’ve always wanted Derek to go to Heaven

So now he’s really going to be in God’s Heaven when he dies but he didn’t want me to die and I liked that ` ` ` People waited for me to die but I didn’t — I took my dick out instead because I really OR WAIT- I maybe shouldn’t reveal anything about what happened at the scene of my crash that a cop at the bar followed me but I spooled up the Turbo and out-ran him

Enough about Derek as I celebrate his life with his wife Anna


Like June Vo- I’d love to date her ` ` ` what’s up with Anna are they making love ??? jDoes Derek have orgasms ???

Jessica and Carina my girls in our threesome 24/7 in the hospital having fun and laughing sometimes ` ` ` 

I remember SMILING with them and using my eyes to stare into their souls as I’d spend all day with Jess and C.

I wanted them to think highly of me so I never talked about anything gross or rude ` ` ` Sabina thought highly of me

Sabina, I told her I would protect her like I’d taken care of Jess and Carina for 2 weeks prior to her getting there and I would fight for her ` ` ` 

She was TaLL for her age and pretty- but, I couldn’t be too close of a friend, as I was leaving soon to be free again

I wanted to drive my car with satellite-radio and eat at The Sole Proprietor with all my favorite people there

I wanted better food and it sucked that they were tracking exactly what we ate for macro’s they’d do

Do you have fun reading left to right as much as I do on my MacBook Pro I use ???

Have I left anything out ???

I think that’s it and I want to see Jessica Tocci and Carina Ricciardi again to have as lovers who’ll live with me soon where on our Honeymoon with these two girls who will get gift implants if they want, when my money comes in

I remember sitting there in the cafeteria and looking at Jess so special in her scrubs in the morning where we clung together as a group of two intimate people with no one else to talk to ` ` ` Carina looked me up online but I don’t know where she is and she hasn’t said anything

Hi to the people watching me type this

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